Yes its hard being apart from my husband and this whole Army experience is.....hmmm the best way to put it would be "learn as you go" Don't expect your husband to just go off to Army and everything else just happens.No that's not how it works.This is how my husband would like it to happen.If you have kids like we do its a little more complicated.
Lets talk a little about the kids.......
I have a 10yr old son, 13yr old son, 17yr old daughter,19yr old son and my husband has a 4yr old son and a 7yr old daughter! You may be thinking wow that's going to be really challenging to move all those kids.Actually only 1 of them is coming with us.This is another challenge we are facing.My husband is already been separated from his 2 kids for the last 7 months.I know this is very difficult for him.He doesn't really like to talk about it much.I know it pains him.You know how men can be when it comes to talking about their feelings.My husband is no exception. I hurt for him knowing how much he misses them and how hard it is when they ask him over the phone "daddy when will you be home?"I know I will facing this soon myself. My kids are older so they are more understanding of the situation.It is still a huge life change for all of us.
My 10yr old will be coming with us.My 13yr old is graduating from the 8th grade and is very established with his friends and school activities such as Basketball and more Basketball!!He also hates change and says he wants to stay with his father.I think he will miss his little brother more than me although he would never admit to this.My 17yr old is graduating from High School and his already signed up to go to a local college in the fall.She is not only my daughter but my good friend.It will be very hard to leave her.Its a good thing we have unlimited calling!My 19yr old has a girlfriend and also does not welcome change.He too will be staying with his father. Now as for my husbands 2 kids,they will stay with their mother.At this point there is no other option enough said.It is a kind of bitter sweet for me.I so want to be with my husband however i know for that to happen I will be separating myself from some of my children.I try not to get depressed and dwell on my husbands absence because I know it affects the quality of my time spent with my kids.It can be very stressful at times.I wish I had some advice or feedback from someone who has dealt with a similar situation. You there's always those family member that can't understand how I could do this to my kids and make me feel like the mother from hell. I try not to pay much attention to them.This is my life and I must live it the best I can.

Now back to things that have to be done.......DEERS is the first step if you get married after you husband enlisted.My husband is not much for paper work.I mean who is right?He is also the worlds biggest procrastinator.For the first month of AIT I kinda sat here wondering,should I be doing something....calling someone?Wondering....what about this housing allowance and insurance and moving and whatever else. Like I said its "learn as you go"I started asking my husband questions.When he got mad at me for bugging him I started making phone call to his post and looking thing up online.I googled "Army Life"Yes I had to bug my hubby a lot to get things done.It wasn't until 3 months in that he got me added to DEERS.4 months in for TRICARE.Just a week ago the kids were added. A few days ago I found out about dental care and what other thing are and are not covered by TRICARE. We still have not received a BAH.My husband just got that taken care of a few weeks ago.The good thing about that is we will get back pay which should be a nice lump sum coming in his next payday.Just in time for any moving expenses we may incur.I'm not trying to blame this all on my husband.He is kept busy with his training and formations and various duties.On the weekends when he has off all the offices on post are closed.
It can be done in a more timely manner than what we did.If I could give anyone advice from my own experience it would be to work together with your spouse.Don't put it on them to do everything.Make phone calls and ask a lot of questions.Remember no question is stupid! Don't ask 1 person.Ask at least 3 people the same question.I find that I can call 5 different people on post asking each of them the same question and get 5 different answers.It can be very frustrating to find out which answer is right.Chances are there is some truth to all answers. It also depends on the mood of the person you are asking.If they are almost ready to go home they are going to give you a short crappy answer.Don't call on post on a Friday.I find that on Fridays everyone is ready for the weekend and are not in the mood to answer question they think you should already know. The answer I love to hear the most is"ask your husband he should be able to tell you"Ok they don't know my husband.
I'm still trying to find out about moving expenses.What the Army pays for?What steps we have to take to make the move happen.I have learned that once my husband has his orders he has to make an appointment with the transportation office.They will tell him what needs to be done.I have been trying to get my husband to find out if his orders include dependents for a move.Since we were married after he enlisted I have heard this can be a problem and the orders would have to be amended.So far I haven't found out yet.I have been told my husband needs to start with his chain of command to find this out. For now I'm still working on getting him to mail me the 1172 form so I can take the kids to get their ID's. One thing at time is how we do it otherwise it can seem overwhelming. As strangely new and stressful as this all seems at times,I am looking at this like an adventure.I know I will be with my husband soon.I know he needs me to be supportive and strong and so I will.I love him and and proud to have him as my husband. I'm learning what most Army wives say is true....that being, the Army is what you make of it.Once your in your in. Make the most of it.Support your spouse,work together,communicate often, love each other,respect each other and never lose sight of your goals.Treasure every moment you have together and reflect on those moments when separated! Good luck.... I'll keep you posted and would love to hear feedback.

As I was saying......Here I am sitting in CA without my husband.We're in the Army now. The recruiter had some valid points and also as a trained and skilled salesman he also told us what we wanted to hear. I respect my husbands choice to join the Army.He felt it was a way for us to get our lives together started.He's getting some valuable training that will stay with him even when he is no longer in the military.I'm very proud of him for being so strong and for sacrificing time with his familiy to serve his country and at the same time make a life for us.I won't lie at times I am very angry.I lay in bed night after night missing my husband I cry at his absence.I want so bad to lay next to him and tell him about my day and listen to how his day went like we use to do.I miss his touch,his smell everything that he is.Most of all I miss all this lost time.We are going into our 8th month of him being gone.He did come home for 2 weeks at Christmas in which time we got married,had a reception,a mini honey moon,celebrated Christmas,New Years, bought gifts,tried to to unite our children into 1 family,visit all friends and family and last but not least spend time with each other as newly weds!As you can imagine this all happened literally in the blink of an eye.Before I knew it we were at the airport and I was saying goodbye once again. This gooodbye was much harder for both of us.We knew what the 2.5 months apart had been like during BCT.Only getting to talk 3x.each one those conversations were only 1 minute long. The only thing that got us through BCT was the letter writing.Make sure if you are reading this and your spouse or BF/GF are in BCT WRITE ALOT OF LETTERS>>>>EVERYDAY!!!!!!
Of course AIT is much different than BCT.He is able to use his cell phone everyday after classes and all weekend.Ok so let me say that again....He is "ABLE" does that mean he does? NO not as often as I would like him to.Let me tell you my husband is not a phone person! He is however an avid video game player.Yes he had me mail him his PS3.I haven't heard from him much since...LOL.He does call me everyday.We talk for about 15 min.The weekends are when I usually fall apart and get pissed.He gets"in trouble"as he puts it for not calling me. "I didn't have time I was busy with the guys at the mall."he tells me. Hell no that's not an excuse!I'm your wife you make time for me dammit!Oh ya its an arguement we have every weekend.Its getting better.I understand its hard for him to be away and his " battle buddies"are now his family too. I love him and trust him and I know he loves me too.As long as I get atleast 1 call a day Im ok. He still gets"in trouble" from time to time.LOL......he's knows just what to say to make me forget about why I was mad in the first place and then we move on.
I did get to go stay on post with him last month.I was there for 2 weeks.We got to spend a lot of time together.I got to keep him overnight on the weekends!!! We had a wonderful time.I got a taste for life on post.I made a pretty good contribution to the PX and even had to buy an extra suitcase as a result.Then of course the dreaded day came and this time my husband was seeing me off at the airport. Finally we are starting to kind of see a shimmer of light at the end of this long tunnel we find our selfs trapped in.I'm hoping by the middle of June I will find my husband waiting for me when I crawl out into the light.As I am learning with the Army nothing is a sure thing. I will not allow myself to get excited until he has his orders in hand and they say I can go with him.
So I've pretty much told the surface story of what my experience has been up to this point. In my next blog I will go into all the details of what its been like as far as getting signed up for TRICARE and BAH and DEERS and all the hundreds of phone calls I've had to make.......

Let me start my telling a little about who I am.My name is Celia Burton I am 38 ...a wife and a mother of 6. I live in northern CA with my 4 kids. My 2 step children live in a town about 20 min away with their mother.My husband lives at Fort Gordon GA. He is in his 5th month of AIT and is due to graduate in about 4 weeks at which time I am praying we get to be together.We have yet to find out where he will be stationed next.

Let me back up a bit and explain how it is my husband ended up joining the Army at the ripe old age of 36(lol)ok so 36 isn't that old! It was Jan 09 I started chatting with this guy online who happened to live in the same town as me. I'm not one for meeting people on line however a mutual friend happened to know and work with this guy.He assured me he was "cool." A couple weeks later we met for a date. I knew instantly that he was "the one."We spent as much time together as possible.We spoke of marriage right off.Both of us having children.....6 in all,we silently both wondered how we could manage.I run a daycare/preschool out of my home that has allowed me to just barely support myself and my 4 kids.Rob(my now hubby)has the 2 kids and a huge chunk of his pay check goes in child support.I'm sure some of you can relate.About 6 months into our relationship we were out one night picking up a pizza for dinner when there he was.......can you guess who "he" is?HE would be the Army recruiter!!!!! Sitting there in the pizza place probably getting a pizza for his family too. I remember my husband,boyfriend at the time starting talking with him.Of course the sales pitch came on strong.My husband being a saleman himself recognized it too. Still his curiosity about the military kept him intuned to what the recruiter had to say.Yes I did refer to the recruiter as a salesman because really that what they are!Next thing you know he gives Rob his card.Next thing I know Im being educated on the Army life.At first I thought my husband was just going through a phase and not really serious about joining.Before i knew it he was choosing his MOS and is off to MEPS.Im trying to learn the language of the Army and becoming a nervouse wreck. September 09 we get engaged(happiest day ever!!!!)Did I mention how awesome my hubby is and that I am so completely in love with him:)October 09 he is taken away in a white van no not by men in white....rather men in green.LOL! Yes he was off BCT at Fort Knox KY.The 2.5 months he was gone for BCT were the longest months of my life!!!!

So there it is how we came to be in the Army.