Yes its hard being apart from my husband and this whole Army experience is.....hmmm the best way to put it would be "learn as you go" Don't expect your husband to just go off to Army and everything else just happens.No that's not how it works.This is how my husband would like it to happen.If you have kids like we do its a little more complicated.
Lets talk a little about the kids.......
I have a 10yr old son, 13yr old son, 17yr old daughter,19yr old son and my husband has a 4yr old son and a 7yr old daughter! You may be thinking wow that's going to be really challenging to move all those kids.Actually only 1 of them is coming with us.This is another challenge we are facing.My husband is already been separated from his 2 kids for the last 7 months.I know this is very difficult for him.He doesn't really like to talk about it much.I know it pains him.You know how men can be when it comes to talking about their feelings.My husband is no exception. I hurt for him knowing how much he misses them and how hard it is when they ask him over the phone "daddy when will you be home?"I know I will facing this soon myself. My kids are older so they are more understanding of the situation.It is still a huge life change for all of us.
My 10yr old will be coming with us.My 13yr old is graduating from the 8th grade and is very established with his friends and school activities such as Basketball and more Basketball!!He also hates change and says he wants to stay with his father.I think he will miss his little brother more than me although he would never admit to this.My 17yr old is graduating from High School and his already signed up to go to a local college in the fall.She is not only my daughter but my good friend.It will be very hard to leave her.Its a good thing we have unlimited calling!My 19yr old has a girlfriend and also does not welcome change.He too will be staying with his father. Now as for my husbands 2 kids,they will stay with their mother.At this point there is no other option enough said.It is a kind of bitter sweet for me.I so want to be with my husband however i know for that to happen I will be separating myself from some of my children.I try not to get depressed and dwell on my husbands absence because I know it affects the quality of my time spent with my kids.It can be very stressful at times.I wish I had some advice or feedback from someone who has dealt with a similar situation. You there's always those family member that can't understand how I could do this to my kids and make me feel like the mother from hell. I try not to pay much attention to them.This is my life and I must live it the best I can.

Now back to things that have to be done.......DEERS is the first step if you get married after you husband enlisted.My husband is not much for paper work.I mean who is right?He is also the worlds biggest procrastinator.For the first month of AIT I kinda sat here wondering,should I be doing something....calling someone?Wondering....what about this housing allowance and insurance and moving and whatever else. Like I said its "learn as you go"I started asking my husband questions.When he got mad at me for bugging him I started making phone call to his post and looking thing up online.I googled "Army Life"Yes I had to bug my hubby a lot to get things done.It wasn't until 3 months in that he got me added to DEERS.4 months in for TRICARE.Just a week ago the kids were added. A few days ago I found out about dental care and what other thing are and are not covered by TRICARE. We still have not received a BAH.My husband just got that taken care of a few weeks ago.The good thing about that is we will get back pay which should be a nice lump sum coming in his next payday.Just in time for any moving expenses we may incur.I'm not trying to blame this all on my husband.He is kept busy with his training and formations and various duties.On the weekends when he has off all the offices on post are closed.
It can be done in a more timely manner than what we did.If I could give anyone advice from my own experience it would be to work together with your spouse.Don't put it on them to do everything.Make phone calls and ask a lot of questions.Remember no question is stupid! Don't ask 1 person.Ask at least 3 people the same question.I find that I can call 5 different people on post asking each of them the same question and get 5 different answers.It can be very frustrating to find out which answer is right.Chances are there is some truth to all answers. It also depends on the mood of the person you are asking.If they are almost ready to go home they are going to give you a short crappy answer.Don't call on post on a Friday.I find that on Fridays everyone is ready for the weekend and are not in the mood to answer question they think you should already know. The answer I love to hear the most is"ask your husband he should be able to tell you"Ok they don't know my husband.
I'm still trying to find out about moving expenses.What the Army pays for?What steps we have to take to make the move happen.I have learned that once my husband has his orders he has to make an appointment with the transportation office.They will tell him what needs to be done.I have been trying to get my husband to find out if his orders include dependents for a move.Since we were married after he enlisted I have heard this can be a problem and the orders would have to be amended.So far I haven't found out yet.I have been told my husband needs to start with his chain of command to find this out. For now I'm still working on getting him to mail me the 1172 form so I can take the kids to get their ID's. One thing at time is how we do it otherwise it can seem overwhelming. As strangely new and stressful as this all seems at times,I am looking at this like an adventure.I know I will be with my husband soon.I know he needs me to be supportive and strong and so I will.I love him and and proud to have him as my husband. I'm learning what most Army wives say is true....that being, the Army is what you make of it.Once your in your in. Make the most of it.Support your spouse,work together,communicate often, love each other,respect each other and never lose sight of your goals.Treasure every moment you have together and reflect on those moments when separated! Good luck.... I'll keep you posted and would love to hear feedback.